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Last year, I decided to redesign my life. I quit my job in clinical research, married the person I love who empowers me, and moved from Berlin to New York City. Since living here, it feels like I've awakened from hibernation. I've started trusting my intuition and pivoting my career. I've built a new routine, integrating deliberate practice into everything I want to learn. I now create and perform poetry combined with AI art.
Gradually building a tailored routine has been essential for making progress, as it has forced me to maintain consistency. The gradual part is important: I didn't want to feel overwhelmed by too many changes happening all at once, just to give up the day after. Routine is a vow to show up.
stream-of-consciousness writing
Stream-of-consciousness writing has been the first tiny step toward a creative life. I've committed to handwriting at least three pages every morning, which has eventually become my daily ritual. This is a practice that I developed after reading "The Artist's Way." It allows new ideas to flow freely, as you are not supposed to read and judge what you wrote; there's no space for your inner critic. One morning, I remember writing and feeling an idea for a poem flow directly from my fingers to the page.
reading voraciously
Books can be muses and sources of information you didn't think you'd need. Were it not for "Atomic Habits," I might still believe that deciding what to do based on my impulses was a great way to exercise my freedom. Were it not for "Designing Your Life," I might not have come across the concept of prototyping alternative careers—exploring and testing different paths that align with your passions, skills, and values without fully committing to them right away.
At first, it was about reading every day; then, it became reading at least 20 pages every morning. If you think about it, that makes at least 200 pages every ten days.
physical practice
In parallel with establishing a solid reading habit, I decided it was time to focus on my physical health. During COVID, some people started exercising obsessively to cope, while others replaced it with video games. I fell into the latter category. My body was in shock, depleted of serotonin. Consequently, my mind wasn't as clear as it used to be. After landing in New York, exercising again became a top priority. Overcoming the initial inertia was the hardest part, but starting with just 10 minutes every other day helped my body get used to moving again. Now, I exercise at least 4 hours per week.
I like to call it physical practice. Looking after my body requires care, commitment, and love. It's about nurturing a never-ending relationship, the relationship with my own body and self. Which eventually nourishes my thinking and enhances my emotional well-being. Low endorphin levels make it painful to manage emotional tension.
managing phone notifications
Checking my phone notifications creates a lot of emotional tension, especially when done first thing after waking up. It's like when you smoke because you want to relax from the anxiety caused by the idea of not smoking. I wanted to reduce my mental clutter drastically.
Phone notifications are so addictive that I've been struggling to rein them in. My family is in a different time zone from mine; I tell myself that if I'm not fast enough, I risk them going to bed before I even check on them. This sounds like the perfect excuse rather than an actual obstacle. Regardless, I've been trying not to check my notifications before 12:00 PM to start my days with an unpolluted mind. Sometimes, I succeed; others, I fail.
teaming up with interdependence
Have I done all of this alone? Not at all. I ensured I had a supportive network of trusted people to help me through this transition. From friends recommending the right book at the right time, to friends of friends reading my first drafts, to my husband giving me the time and mental space I needed to rewire my life.
I used to think I wanted to be the only one responsible for my success. But this is true anyway. Ultimately, we are always the ones accountable for our choices. This doesn't mean we shouldn't get help along the way. I can achieve results much faster (and better) by teaming up with the right people.
self-awareness was vital to discovering my new path
My origins are crucial to understanding the person I am continuously evolving into. I was born and raised on the outskirts of an Italian town, deeply influenced by my surroundings. I was capricious and unaware, buried under external expectations.
I spent my 20s pursuing a career because I had already invested so much into it: I spent seven years studying pharmacy and doing laboratory research, and the subsequent three building a career in the clinical research field. That makes it a decade.
I didn't want to waste what I had put in, focusing too much on the sunk costs of my education—giving previous time investment the power to determine my future decisions.
I always felt like a fish out of water, never fitting in or feeling adequate. I remember feeling so hopeless and drained that I couldn't dare to throw everything away and start from scratch. My non-choices were passive choices.
I was persisting on a path that wasn't fulfilling for the person I am, letting others' egos be projected onto me.
I have one regret: being a spectator of my own life for so long.
luck always plays a role
A tipping point came when I became aware of luck's role in life. Luck is exponential; when you start noticing and trusting it, it operates in your favor. But opportunities come with trade-offs, and require you to decide what you are willing to give up.
Among other variables, I measure luck by the people who randomly enter my life, providing love and security, and allowing me to see from a new perspective. These people made me realize I was tired of being lived rather than living. They gave me the strength to follow my curiosity, even if it meant risking disappointing others.
I remember my partner showing me a video about an old man who had spent his time dwelling on the losses he had suffered, without paying attention to the new, beautiful things that had quietly entered his life. This man was so focused on missing his high school friends that he overlooked the joy of his son's birth; so focused on what was no more that he failed to cherish the present.
Recognizing that an end is followed by the start of something new was a profound lesson, and I was done missing the person I had never been able to become. This gave me the desire and urge to look forward even more.
Over time, I managed to change my mindset, and opportunities began to present themselves one after the other.
As I express in one of my poems:
today is constant change
Today, I am about to move to San Francisco. This excites and saddens me at the same time, as I'll be even farther away from home. But I trust that I can always return if I choose to.
My mission is to help people tune in by developing more introspective behavior, intentionality, and self-awareness. Through my voice, I hope to provide a safe haven.
I believe in the power of lifelong learning and the beauty of interdependence. We cannot thrive if we are always competing against one another and ourselves. Our niche is there, awaiting us. Who knows what will happen in a year or five from now?
designing a new life in a list
Designing a new life is an ongoing process of commitment, learning, and evolution. It requires self-awareness, a willingness to take risks, and the flexibility to adapt to new opportunities and setbacks.
By following my curiosity, cultivating supportive routines and relationships, and remaining open to change, I'm creating a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling to my true self.
If you're considering redesigning your life, here are the habits and factors that have helped me—in a list:
- Prototyping alternative career paths
- Stream-of-consciousness writing
- Managing phone notifications
- A network of trusted people
- A voracious reading habit
- Physical practice
- Mental space
- Time
thank you
If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. Feel free to share your own experiences or thoughts.
As I continue to evolve, I realize that my journey is never complete. I am here, still growing, still discovering.
Let's never stop learning, evolving, becoming.
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Thank you Gian, Fed, Stefano, Adeline, Leslie, Matteo, and Marco, for reviewing different drafts of this post. It is a better and complete post, thanks to you.